Raising Children the Buddha Way: Five Rules for Nurturing Amazing Kids

Before and after becoming the Buddha, Siddhartha Gautama was always a father, with his own set of principles for raising his son.

Today, a concern for many parents is how to correctly raise their children and guide them on the right path. Every parent has their own expectations, but generally, they all wish for their children to grow into honest, brave, confident individuals who strive for a bright future.

Siddhartha Gautama, before becoming the Buddha, was the father of his son Rahula. After finding his path and becoming the Buddha, he didn’t forget to include Rahula, transforming him from a mischievous boy into a wise Buddhist who understood life’s truths.

The Buddha believed that to raise an exceptional child, parents must follow these five rules:

Be a Good Role Model: The Buddha emphasized that children learn not from parents’ words alone but from their actions. Children observe how their parents interact with others and handle life’s challenges. Parents should first ensure they are good role models before expecting their children to be honest, respectful, and hardworking.

Encourage Independence: The Buddha taught that one’s salvation is in one’s own hands. Though you love your children, you cannot live their lives for them. The sooner children become independent, the easier their future becomes. Let them handle age-appropriate tasks themselves.

Learn to Sacrifice: One of the toughest aspects of parenting, according to the Buddha, is giving up personal pleasures when necessary. Parenting requires sacrificing personal freedom and comforts voluntarily and happily, to nurture and care for children during their formative years.

Know When to Let Go: The Buddha likened the human heart to a garden, capable of cultivating various seeds – compassion, fear, anger, or love. Let children follow their dreams and passions, rather than imposing your own. Recognize and support what they are good at and what they want to do.

Cherish the Present: The Buddha said, “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” This teaching is particularly relevant to parenting. Unlike adults, children naturally enjoy every moment. Learn to appreciate the present with your children, and teach them to do the same.

In your daily interactions with your children, make each moment count. Instead of focusing on academic expectations during a meal, talk about how enjoyable the food and the moment are. When dressing your children, instead of complaining about their messiness, show them your love and care. Children are sensitive and will deeply feel and grow from these nurturing experiences.

(Source: Sivana Spirit, as interpreted by Thanh Hương for Trí thức trẻ)